i am quite enjoying "wasting" time here at tim & patti's cabin. its the perfect place to sit and ponder . . . or write in my secret blog. silence rings in my ears. the hum of the fridge is the only constant noise. i did some coloring with the pencils i brought which was a fun waste of time. why did God make the loon so hard to color? coloring makes me prefer photography as an art form, as all a photographer needs to do is capture the beauty, not recreate it.
this summer has been so jam packed it is good to savor wasting some time. i've spent probably a full month accomplishing the "great purge of 2010". i was able to purge, condense and organize my office closet to make room for the forthcoming baby stuff. that meant that i needed to shift items to the living room closet, and shift yet other things to the storage unit. that required going through many boxes and bins in the basement to prioritize and purge "unnecessary" things. things from my childhood, school and college years that i had forgotten i had. things i can now let go of because i look forward to the future and sharing our condo with our little son.
made some eggs and fruit salad for lunch. it definitely tastes better in patti's handmade pottery. last night i was witness to the lightning, thunder and rain as eric slept through it. it is still cloudy and silent outside, which makes it easier for me to stay in sweats and sit by the window overlooking the lake. eric dreams of canoeing the perimeter of the lake but i'm not fond of water i can't see into . . . maybe it will be sunny this afternoon.
it was fun to feel baby moving around this morning and to have eric feel it, too. throughout the night i have begun to make a point to roll over very gently so as not to awake the sleeping baby. if i wake him he thinks he should let me know by kicking incessantly until i can no longer go back to sleep. thursday morning it was at 3:30 am . . .
it is strange to think that i think of him so much - dreaming about what he looks like, praying about who he will become - realizing, though, that he isn't at all conscious of me or even himself. after i "meet" him, though, he will never again be inside me, a part of me, protected by me like he is now. it already saddens me. but i look forward to the future with HOPE that God has a beautiful plan for our family. and i know that only when baby is born can eric begin to truly get to know him and help care for him like i have been for 24 weeks. for now i appreciate the honor God has given me to be able to be a direct witness to a new human joining the world.
maybe we should start brainstorming baby names . . .
8.20.2010
5.30.2010
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